


I'm Wonderstruck (blushing all the way home)

by intolauren



Series: This Night Is Sparkling (don't you let it go) [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Character Development, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Role Reversal, Romance, Smut, i havent really decided where im going with this yet but i hope youll enjoy the ride with me, ignore my title i suck at thinking of titles, lots and lots of fluff okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8309455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intolauren/pseuds/intolauren
Summary: A place for the (hopefully) many one-shots in this little universe I created and love so much. Not necessarily in chronological order, but I'll say where in the timeline each is set if it doesn't say so in the fic itself.Expect lots of fluff.





	1. 2 months

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, remember me? That person who hasn't written a single thing since June due to crippling self deprecation and anxiety. Yeah, hi. That's me.  
> Writing this took a lot of... stuff. A lot of stuff. Mental and physical. I can't even describe the battle I've had with myself over the last 4 months whenever I've thought about writing. But I won't get into it. I had enough emotional breakdowns on Twitter about it to last me until I'm 30, I don't need to have any on here.
> 
> So many people enjoyed this little universe during This Night Is Sparkling and a few people said they'd love to hear more from it and honestly, I've never been happier to hear even one person say that. Because this fic is my favourite I've ever written and my first "proper" fic so knowing people liked it too makes me so happy! I'm hoping to just really explore the character development with Oliver and Felicity in these one-shots and I decided to not stick to a strict timeline just so I can write from wherever my imagination takes me.  
> Also, this is my first time doing a series so if I'm formatting this wrong and you can thing of a better way for the next ficlets, PLEASE let me know so I don't look like a dummy. 
> 
> I can't promise I'll update regularly, due to before-mentioned emotional breakdowns, but I'll ALWAYS write again eventually. That's all I can commit to right now.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who read and commented on the first part of this series; your comments keep me going more than I can express. I hope you continue to enjoy this universe with me! 
> 
>  
> 
> I just have to thank Lily (phangirlingforphan on ao3 and Tumblr) for proofreading this for me and for generally just being the best person ever. And also Nikka (bokayjunkie on ao3 and Tumblr) for letting me muse with her, thus being the reason I actually started to think about writing again after so long (even if we mused over a completely different fic...).

It had been a week since Felicity offered him the job. 

She needed someone to help with the admin and promotion work at the club since she was currently still doing it by herself, and asking Oliver had just seemed like the perfect solution. She’d pictured them working so greatly as a team; she knew Oliver was organised and thorough when it came to work, just like she was. And then, having endless opportunities to just sneak into the office whilst they were supposed to be working to make-out played a part in her perfect solution too, of course.  
She hadn’t expected him to accept straight away but she’d expected to hear from him by now. She knew they’d both been busy with work this week and hadn’t really had much time to talk, but she also knew there was something else going on. 

Neither of them were in need of constant communication having been by themselves for so long prior to their relationship, but going for seven days without seeing each other or even speaking to each other via any way other than texts, was simply not like them. In the two months they’d been together, this was the longest they’d gone without some form of actual communication, and Felicity knew this wasn’t just about work.  
Felicity wracked her brain trying to think of what could be wrong, anything she could have said or done over the last week to make Oliver mad or annoyed with her, but she couldn’t think of anything. In fact, prior to the last time they’d seen each other, one of the last things Oliver had admitted, quietly, during a Halloween movie marathon, was how happy he was. 

Felicity smiled at the memory. 

It was a Wednesday night, the only night of the week the club didn’t open, and Oliver had gotten off work early. He’d texted her to ask if she wanted to hang out, his text full of _“it’s okay if you don’t want to!”_ and _“I’ll completely understand if you’d rather see your friends or something,”_ ; Oliver was still big on the self-deprecation and it was something Felicity knew would probably take years to work out of him. 

Accepting excitedly, she’d invited him over to her place to watch a movie, something they’d only done once or twice so far. It hadn’t taken them long to decide on the first Halloween movie; they’d both agreed it was the best one, nothing but pure, cheesy and cringey 1970s horror classic, and soon enough they’d watched the first three movies in the series, one after the other. They’d just got to the part in the third one where Marge finds a microchip in the back of one of the Halloween masks when Oliver had rested his head on her shoulder and sort of sleepily mumbled,

“This makes me so happy, you know?” 

“What? The movie?”

“No. Just being here. You,” 

It was the first time Oliver had voluntarily spoken so honestly in affection before and Felicity still couldn’t stop thinking about it, even almost two weeks later.  
It had meant so much to her to hear him say that she made him happy. 

It wasn’t that she thought Oliver didn’t care about her, she knew that he did, she just knew that he struggled to say how he was feeling a lot of the time. As much as it made her doubt herself sometimes, she never brought up how it made her feel because she knew it wasn’t his fault. She agreed with herself to be patient with him, however long that took, and she was determined to stick to that agreement. She could only hope that being honest about his feelings was something he’d eventually get better at with time. But, whenever he did offer an affectionate comment on rare occasions when he’d either consumed a few glasses of wine or was about to fall asleep and wasn’t thinking completely consciously, it made Felicity smile for days on end whenever she thought about it. Hearing what you really need to hear from someone who really isn’t good at saying it means so much more in the end. 

To have Oliver being so distant all of sudden after such a special moment not too long ago, really made Felicity uneasy. 

 

Another three days passed before Felicity had had enough. 

Over the last three days she’d tried three different times to arrange a date night or a movie night at her place, but each time he’d made an excuse about being too busy or too tired. He’d been so distant on the phone and their calls had always been less than a minute long and if Felicity didn’t know Oliver better and he’d been any other guy in her life, she would have just given up trying and cut him off by now. 

But this wasn’t just any other guy, this was Oliver, and Felicity couldn’t just rely on her old methods of putting up walls and cutting people off when she thought they didn’t care about her anymore. She wasn’t going to be that person anymore. Especially not with Oliver.  
Which was why it was now 1:00am and she was outside his apartment. She’d gone there straight from leaving work, praying that he hadn’t gone to bed yet, because she knew they really needed to talk; she needed to know what the hell was going on between them. 

After impatiently pressing the buzzer comm outside his building several times, she heard his voice over the speaker, 

“Tommy, I already told you I’m not going out tonight. I have work in the morning. Leave me alone.” 

Felicity didn’t know to feel about hearing that Tommy had obviously also been trying to get in touch with Oliver at some point. It made her relieved that she wasn’t the only one he was seemingly avoiding but it also made her worry about what could be so wrong that he felt like he needed to avoid his best friend too. 

Felicity pressed the button to speak over the comm. 

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come up, please?” 

There was a few seconds of silence before Oliver responded. 

“Um, I meant what I said when I thought you were Tommy. I have a really early start at work tomorrow so I can’t really hang out. I should already be asleep now, actually. I’m sorry.” 

“I can be gone in like, 10 minutes if you just let me talk to you.” 

“I really can’t, Felicity. I’m sorry.” 

“Oliver, if you don’t let me up we’re going to have our first fight over the intercom and that’s just ridiculous. Open the door.” 

She waited for the click that told her he’d unlocked the door to the building but it didn’t come. 

“The longer I stand out here, the more likely I am to get kidnapped or something. And I’m sorry, but that would be on your conscience if it happened. Or if I caught pneumonia or something from the cold, it would also be your fault. Or if I die because I came straight here from work in five-inch heels that I’ve been standing in all night and haven’t had a chance to eat or drink anything for, like, hours, that would also be your fault. Or if-” 

_Click._

Felicity smiled to herself. She could practically hear Oliver telling her that you couldn’t just “catch pneumonia” from being stood in the cold for 5 minutes or that you don’t usually “die” just because you’re wearing heels and haven’t eaten in a couple of hours. 

“It’s open. And by the way, you can’t get pneumonia from standing in the cold for 5 minutes.” she heard Oliver say over the comm as she stepped into the building. 

Smiling to herself, Felicity headed up the stairs to his apartment.

 

She didn’t know what to expect when Oliver opened the door. She’d prepared herself for an awkward silence at best and a fight at worst, but she’d barely been in his apartment 3 seconds before Oliver was pulling her into his arms for a hug. He didn’t say anything, and neither did she; she just let him hold her for awhile, partly for his benefit because he must know they had things to talk about, and partly for her own because she’d missed him and being in his arms was just the best feeling in the world. 

Felicity had never been the overly affectionate type before she met Oliver. Affection wasn’t an issue for her, because it usually only lead to sex and that was that, but she tended to try and avoid it if it was at all possible. She and Sara had a pretty average friendship that didn’t rely on affection to survive and that was how they liked it. Besides drunken confession of _“oh my god I’m in love with you I’m so happy you’re my best friend”_ , affection was just for birthday cards every now and then.

With Oliver it was different. 

When they were together, she liked to be touching him in some way all the time, whether that was holding his hand, resting her head on his shoulder or lap as they watched a movie, carding her hands through his hair as they sat and talked about nonsensical things, or like this, with her arms wrapped around him, her head tucked under his chin and her cheek pressed against the warmth of his chest. It was still slightly surreal to her how easily and well they fit together. After years of 3 or 4 day “relationships” with people who never mattered to begin with, being with Oliver like this felt like nothing she’d ever even dreamed of. Having his arms around her and hearing his heartbeat as her head rested on his chest made her feel safe, and she hadn’t realised how much she’d needed to feel safe and protected like this until she met him. 

A big part of Felicity’s identity growing up had been I Don’t Need Anyone, and because of that her go-to thing was to shut people out. She’d relied only on herself for so long, that at first she just didn’t know how to let anyone be there for her. After her first date with Oliver, she’d gone home feeling strange. It took a long time for her to realise that she felt that way because she’d spent almost the entire evening with her guard down, without consciously deciding to let it down. Only Sara had ever made Felicity feel that way, and they’d been friends for years, so for her to feel that way with someone she barely even knew, she’d known it meant something. Not that she didn’t still struggle to let Oliver in sometimes. Sometimes just the smallest thing like a bad night at work she really wanted to vent about was the hardest thing to get off of her chest. Going so many years with a brain that said _“just suck it up and move on, sunshine”_ wasn’t going to go away overnight. But she was getting better at trusting him, she knew she was, and letting herself be held like this reminded her how far she’d come in a short space of time and how good and important this relationship was for her -  
which was why they really needed to talk. 

“You know we need to talk at some point, right?” Felicity said, softly. 

She felt Oliver hum into her hair and tighten his arms around her in response. 

Pulling out of his embrace after a few seconds, Felicity took his hand and lead him over to the couch. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” She asked as they sat down, not letting go of his hand as she felt him trying to pull back. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” He muttered quietly, dropping his head. 

“If nothing’s wrong, why did you just hug me like it was the last time you were ever going to?” 

She heard Oliver’s breath catch and she knew she was right in her description of their hug, but also that he hadn’t intended on her picking up on that.

“I still don’t understand how you do that.” Oliver chuckled, a small smile on his face. 

“Do what?”

“Get inside my head like that. It was one of the first things I noticed about you when we met and I still don’t know how you do it.” 

Felicity smiled. 

“Maybe it’s my superpower? Just like knowing when there’s something wrong that you really don’t want to talk about?” 

“Yeah, maybe it is.” 

Squeezing his hand softly before leaning back and giving him some silence and space, Felicity waited for Oliver to feel ready to talk. Just like on their first date at the golf course, she knew that if she gave him some space whilst still letting him know that she was there and that she wasn’t going anywhere by keeping hold of his hand, he’d talk eventually. 

“Okay so I want to ask you to promise not to be mad at me because I’m terrified you will be but I also want you to know that you have every right to be mad at me and I don’t want to tell you how to feel or anything because that’s just kind of rude and no one really has the right to-”

“Oliver, it’s okay. Just talk, okay?” Felicity smiled, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. 

Seeing him so stressed and upset about something and not being able to help was really starting to break her heart. 

She watched him nibble his bottom lip for a few seconds before squeezing his hand again. 

“It’s okay, I promise. Whatever it is.” 

She knew he wasn’t convinced by the expression on his face as she spoke. She could see in his eyes that he was terrified. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been the best partner this week, honestly. I just didn’t know how to tell you how I was feeling about something and it was just easier to distance myself from you so I wouldn’t have to because I knew you’d notice that something was wrong and I thought by pretending I was busy all the time, you’d just forget about it. Or forget about me, I guess. But of course, you’re you, and you notice things that people don’t normally notice and instead of just leaving me alone, you just haven’t and I kind of don’t know why because I would have given up on myself by now, for sure. And okay, honestly I’m just going to have to say it now otherwise I’ll never get there and the reason I’ve been avoiding you all week and not returning your calls or anything is because I’ve been trying to think of ways to tell you that I don’t want the job you offered me without making you mad at me because all this time I’ve just been terrified that you’re going to leave me if I say no. But there it is. That’s what’s been wrong with me this week and why I’ve just been the worst person and I’m just really sorry.” 

Felicity looked at him as his confession tumbled from his mouth and really had to fight the urge to smile. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to feel like she was laughing at him when this had obviously been such a huge thing for him to talk about. 

“Oliver, in what world would you turning down a job opportunity with me make me want to leave you?” 

“I don’t know. In just about every world I imagine in my head.” He admitted, quietly. 

“I don’t care if you don’t want to work with me, I care about you being happy. I kind of don’t understand why you acted so excited and grateful when I offered you the job, but I completely understand if you don’t want it after all. That’s completely okay,”

“I acted like that because it’s just what I do, I guess. I hide my emotions, Felicity. It’s what I’ve always done. You know that,” 

“I know. And I’m still here to remind you, again, that you don’t have to hide them from me. I’ll keep telling you that for as long as you need to hear it,” 

Oliver looked up and met her eyes then. 

“You’re honestly not mad at me?” 

“Why would I be?” 

“I just thought… I really thought you weren’t going to want to be with me if I turned you down on this. And you’re not even a little bit mad about it?” 

“The only thing I’m mad about right now is that you think I’d actually leave you over something like this. Honestly Oliver, it’s going to take a lot more than this to get rid of me now.” 

She watched him relax only the tiniest bit. 

“I don’t know what else to say to make you believe me. I really like you. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. You’re the only person who’s ever made me not want to be on my own. You’re the only person I’ve ever said sappy shit to at 1:30 in the morning. I like you, Oliver. I want to be with you. It’s that simple.” 

She barely finished her last sentence before he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her again. She didn’t think he’d ever held her this tightly before. 

“I’m sorry I’m so difficult sometimes.” He whispered into her hair after a few minutes of peaceful silence. 

Felicity chuckled. 

“It’s okay, I forgive you.” She smiled. 

“Hey, I think you’re supposed to say _‘oh, you’re not difficult, don’t say that’_ aren’t you?” Oliver asked, but she could hear his smile in his voice. 

“You are who you are, Oliver. Difficult or not. And I happen to like that person a lot,” 

“I like you a lot too.” Oliver laughed, before tilting her head up towards him and kissing her softly.


	2. 7 months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Me again... long time, no write... but you've heard it all before. 
> 
> I had no intentions of updating this today but the original fic I started for Camp NaNoWriMo had me tearing my hair out 5k words short of my goal and I just needed to get away from it. I'll be posting the first chapter of that new work as soon as I've posted this one, and although it's not finished, there's only going to be two chapters and hopefully posting it will motivate me to finish it. 
> 
> I wasn't going to write this chapter yet (or even at all really) but all of a sudden, today I just really felt like I needed to write it. I've been thinking about it way too much to just not write it. And with the promise of sexy times on the horizon in 5x20, this just felt right.  
> A couple of people asked for this chapter so I hope you like it! Note that I changed the rating to M. Enjoy ;)  
> Remember, this story is being told out of order! 
> 
> This is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine. I'm always looking for a beta if anyone wants to volunteer though! I would really appreciate the help more than I can express. Feel free to send me a message on Twitter @butpeaceyo if you're interested :)

Felicity’s first thought upon waking was that being snuggled up against Oliver’s naked back was probably one of the nicest feelings in the entire world. They'd never woken up together like this before, last night was the first time he’d ever stayed over, their first time in other ways too, and if the moment was a metaphor, Felicity was pure sunshine. 

She couldn't tell whether Oliver was awake or not yet so she resisted the urge to stretch her muscles in case he was still sleeping and instead just softly pressed her body closer to his and sneaked a quick, light kiss right in the middle of his shoulder blades. 

Breathing in the sweet musky scent of his skin took Felicity’s mind back to the night before, right before they'd finally taken that step in their relationship that they'd been tiptoeing around for months, and she smiled at the memory. It had been perfect. And by perfect she meant slightly awkward and frustrating and also completely vulnerable and lovely at the same time. Lovely, that was the word. Last night had just been lovely. There was no other way to describe it. Felicity had never thought that lovely would ever be a word she'd use to describe sex, but sex with Oliver had been exactly that. 

They'd both been nervous, which was new for Felicity. Sex had never made her nervous. Sex was the one thing she had never been nervous about, give or take a time or two when she was a lot younger. But last night, knowing how nervous Oliver was had rubbed off on her. Thinking about how he’d almost seemed ashamed of how badly he wanted her, how he’d held back so much to begin with, how he’d apologised over and over for the way his body had reacted to hers… it broke her heart and made her smile all at the same time. 

Up until last night, they hadn't really talked about sex. There had been light comments here and there about it, but Felicity had never wanted to press the conversation too far in case it made Oliver feel pressured into doing anything he wasn't ready for. It was strange how willing she was to wait for him, when in the past she’d never really waited more than a few hours before the conversation lead to the bedroom. 

Everything was different with Oliver. He’d never explicitly said it, but she knew he’d never had sex before, and knowing that alone had made Felicity nervous. They'd been together for almost 7 months now and every time things could have gone further, he’d pulled back and stopped before they had time to. She wasn't sure what exactly he’d been holding back for, what exactly it was that made him stop, but she’d never questioned it. She’d just smiled and told him it was okay, that he could talk to her about it if he needed to, and left it at that. And up until last night, he’d never actually taken her up on that opportunity to talk about it. Talking still wasn't something that came naturally to him, even after over half a year together, and if she was being honest, his tendency to keep things to himself still, often made her keep her feelings inside too. It probably wasn't the healthiest way to coexist, but Felicity was always so overly aware of how hard and uncomfortable it was for him to open up to anyone, including her, and she just wanted him to always have the space she knew he craved. 

But last night over dinner at her place, Oliver had been quiet, quieter than usual and she’d known something was wrong. 

“ _Hey, are you okay?” She asked, taking a sip from her wine._

_“Fine. I'm just… thinking,”_

_“About what?”_

_“About… just stuff.”_

_“Oliver, I'm not a mind reader. You're going to have to give me a little more than that before I can help,” she laughed, worried slightly that something was really wrong but also completely in love with how bashful and shy he was sometimes. It was simultaneously one of her favourite and least favourite things about him._

_“Promise you won't laugh,”_

_“Why would I laugh?”_

_“Just please. Promise,”_

_She held out her pinkie across the table. “I promise I won't laugh,” she smiled, and he linked his pinkie with hers._

_Dropping his hands back under the table she watched him fidget in his chair for a few seconds, growing increasingly more nervous the longer this moment went on._

_“Okay so the other night, when we were making out and stuff-”_

_“Wait, is the night specific to the question? Because there are a lot of nights where we just make out so you might need to give me more details,” Felicity grinned, nudging his leg under the table with hers._

_Oliver chuckled anxiously and shook his head. “It's not specific. It's just something you always say to me when I… when I get scared and pull back before anything else happens. You know?”_

_Felicity nodded. “I always tell you that you can talk to me about it if you need to. Is that what you mean?”_

_“Yeah. So this is me wanting to talk about it. Because ever since the other night I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and about what would happen if I just… didn't pull back. And I wanted to know how you feel about it,”_

_“I feel fine about it. In fact, I’d probably like it a lot if you just didn't pull back. All of the pulling back kind of drives me crazy sometimes, Oliver,” she smiled, aching inside at how nervous he seemed about the situation._

_Talking like this with Oliver just felt so good and so necessary to her, and she hated that he seemed to be struggling so much with it._

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Of course I'm sure! I've been waiting for you to have this conversation with me for months,”_

_He nodded, still looking completely unsure and uncomfortable and Felicity couldn't help but reach across the table, asking for his hand. He hesitated but eventually obligated and let her hold onto his hand, and she began to stroke patterns with her thumb along his skin trying to soothe him a little._

_“Are you… I mean, I probably should know this but like, are you on the pill or anything?” He asked, so nervous it made Felicity’s heart hurt._

_“Nope. But I have condoms upstairs. And I could go on the pill if you'd prefer that. I don't really have an opinion on it so I wouldn't mind if you didn't like using them or whatever,”_

_Despite feeling pained by Oliver’s nervousness, sitting here talking about contraception with him was making her feel giddy inside. And not even because of the prospect of them finally having sex, just because this conversation felt so natural to her, and it felt like such a huge turning point in their relationship._

_“Oh, and I’m clean, by the way. Just in case you were wondering. I mean, I would understand if you didn't believe me considering you know how many guys I've slept with but I’ve never slept with any of them unprotected and I recently went for a checkup with my doctor and I'm fine. Perfectly healthy,”_

_“No, I didn't - I would never think -”_

_“Oliver, it’s fine. Everyone who knows me has thought it at some point. Don't worry about it,”_

_“Okay. That's good then,”_

_“So do you have a preference? Like do you mind condoms or?”_

_“I don't have a preference. It's your choice,” he replied quickly, definitely uncomfortable now and Felicity guessed it was because he probably didn't know whether or not he had a preference._

_Smiling softly at him, she changed the subject a little. “Okay. Do you want to do this tonight? Or do you just want to not think about it and see what happens?”_

_“Both. Like, I would love it to be tonight but I also don't want to plan anything. Does that make sense?”_

_“Perfect sense. We’ll just finish dinner and watch a movie and not talk or think about it anymore, okay?”_

Smiling, she almost laughed quietly to herself at just how hard it had been to not talk or think about it anymore. They’d both been distracted all night after that, both of them drinking an extra glass of wine than they usually did with dinner, becoming awkward during silence and feeling jolts of electricity between them every time they touched that definitely hadn't been there before. Felicity had spent the entire evening hyper-aware of every single movement Oliver made and after three hours of torture, she’d just given up and told him she was going to bed and that he was welcome to join her if he wanted. Thankfully, he’d followed her and they hadn't really spoken much about anything since. 

She guessed things would probably be different now. Or at least, she _hoped_ they would. She really felt like last night had been a turning point for them, and she just hoped he felt the same way. 

She was busy absent-mindedly tracing circles into the back of his neck with her fingertips when suddenly he asked, 

"That first night in the club... why did you come over to me?" 

Felicity smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder. She wondered how long he’d been awake and how long he’d been thinking about everything, just like she had. 

She also wondered how she’d ever let him get away with not staying over before now. His sleepy morning voice was the sweetest thing in the world and she never wanted to wake up without it again.

"I wasn't going to, you know? At first I just thought, 'if he wants to be miserable, he can be miserable' and that was that," she paused, listening to Oliver laugh softly and smiling at the sound. "But the longer you sat there, the more I just couldn't stop watching you and the more I started to feel bad for you. Your friend looked like a massive dick for leaving you and I know how shitty it is to just be left by yourself so I told myself I'd just go over and give you a drink. That's all. But obviously, that's not really all that happened is it?" She smiled, pressing another kiss against his shoulder again, unable to resist the feeling of his warm skin on her face as she did so. She really could stay here like this with him forever. 

There was a few moments of peaceful silence and she could practically feel him thinking. 

"I was going to kiss you," 

"Hmm?" 

"That night. I thought about kissing you. But I blamed it on the tequila and talked myself out of it," 

Felicity laughed. "Of course you did.” 

“It just didn't make sense to me, you know? Why you even came over in the first place. And I've never really asked you because I know it doesn't even matter now but when I woke up this morning I just started thinking about it. About what you would have done if I _had_ kissed you that night,” 

Felicity sighed, wishing she could just make all the uncertainty in his voice melt away somehow. 

“Well, I would have kissed you back. Obviously. And I wouldn't have thought twice about it,”

He didn't reply then, he just rolled over onto his back and then turned his head to look at her. 

“Really?” 

Felicity forgot her train of thought at the sight of him, soft-eyed and with sleep creases in his cheek. She lifted her head up and pressed a quick, gentle kiss on his lips, softening inside when his hands automatically made their way into her hair and massaged her scalp, effectively keeping her there so he could kiss her harder, neither of them caring about morning breath or how he had to be up for work soon. Of all the kisses she’d shared with Oliver, this one was her favourite. And yes, she had a list. Kissing Oliver first thing in the morning was something she could fast see herself becoming addicted to. Everything was slower and softer and the walls they naturally built around themselves during the day were nowhere in sight and if there had ever been a moment where Felicity wanted to tell him that she loved him, it was right now. 

But instead she pulled back, rested her head on her hand and said, 

“Really. I kind of wanted you to kiss me actually. Part of me thought maybe you would. If I'd known you better back then, maybe I wouldn't have been so disappointed when you didn't,” she smiled, tracing his chest with the fingertips of her other hand. “Good morning, by the way,” she added, watching a warm grin spread across his face. 

“I'm sorry I disappointed you,” he smiled. “And good morning to you too.” 

“It’s alright, I forgive you. How are you feeling this morning?” 

As soon as her question left her lips, she watched a beautiful blush cross his cheeks and the sight of it made her stomach flutter. She smiled at him, too lost in the warmth that was spreading through her body to care that she probably looked weird, grinning down at him like that. 

She visibly saw him retreat inside himself a little though, clearly embarrassed by the blush on his cheeks. 

“Hey, don't. Don't be embarrassed. It's okay,” she smiled, stroking said blush on his cheek with her palm. 

He smiled back and leaned into her touch, but she could tell she’d ruined the moment with her question and he was worried about something. 

“Is something wrong?” She asked, suddenly insecure herself. “Did you not…” she trailed off. 

“Felicity, don't even ask that question. That's not what I -” 

“Then what? What's wrong? I know we didn't really talk much afterwards but I figured that was a good thing. Was I wrong to think that?” 

“Of course not! Nothing about last night was bad for me. At all. I’m just kind of worried that it was for you. Bad, I mean. I'm worried that you didn't really get anything out of it like I did… you know what I mean, right?” 

Felicity smiled, arguing with herself inside her head whether she should tell him to shut up and stop being ridiculous or prompt him to keep talking because she guessed that probably wasn't all he was worried about. 

“Are you worried that I didn't _enjoy_ myself?” She asked, lying back down next to him and resting her hand on his chest, the other one tucked under her pillow, their faces just inches apart. 

“Well, I know I've never said it but I'm sure you could tell last night was the first time I've ever been with someone like that. And it's not like I was the kind of guy to ever watch anything growing up that could have helped me out…” 

Felicity laughed at that. “Too busy watching Star Wars?” 

Oliver chuckled. “Pokémon actually. But that's beside the point.” 

“Look, I'll be honest okay? I've had sex with a lot of men. But none of them were you and that's the difference.” 

She watched his eyes as she spoke, desperate to just know exactly what was going on inside his head. Coming up empty, she continued. 

“Last night was amazing for me. Because it was the first time for me too in a weird way. It was the first time I’ve ever slept with someone I really care about, anyway. And that just changed the entire experience for me. I was scared too, you know? I was scared I'd intimidate you too much or that you wouldn't like it if I told you what to do or asked you to touch me or any of that stuff. I was scared to make a sound in case it was too much for you. I held back so much because I didn't want anything to be too much for you and I wanted you to know that you were in control the entire time. I wouldn't have wanted you to feel pressured into doing anything you weren't ready to do. So you weren't the only one who was nervous about it. And I just want you to know that in case you're worried that you might have freaked out over nothing.” 

“I didn't - I'm sorry you felt like that. Like you couldn't be yourself. I didn't mean for you to -” 

“Oliver, that was on me, not you. You have nothing to apologise for. And you shouldn't feel bad about anything, honestly. There's nothing at all that you should feel bad about, okay?” 

“But you didn't…” he trailed off, looking embarrassed again. 

“I didn't, what? I didn't come? Is that what you're worrying yourself about?” 

She saw him blush at that and knew she’d hit the nail on the head. 

“You say it like you think that's rare for me,” 

“It's not?” 

“Do you honestly think the guys I used sleep with cared whether I orgasmed or not? Seriously?” She laughed, humourlessly and smiled at him. “Oliver, most of the time they were too drunk to even pay attention to me and the whole thing was over in minutes. Most of the time I never even took off my clothes, it was over _that_ quickly. Out of all the orgasms I've had in my life,99% of them came from me and me alone,” 

He chuckled a little and ran his fingers along Felicity’s forearm, drawing out goosebumps as he did so, his touch so light that it almost made her shiver. He was thinking, she could tell, and so she let him think. 

She really wasn't kidding about the guys she used to sleep with even though she guessed he thought she was just trying to make him feel better. Felicity had only had a handful of enjoyable sex in the last few years, had only had a couple of guys who actually cared about getting her off before themselves, but even those guys had lacked something. And it wasn't until last night that she realised what they'd been lacking all along. 

They weren't Oliver. It was as simple as that. 

“Can I ask you something?” Oliver asked, making one last trip with his fingers down her forearm before taking her hand in his. 

“Of course,” 

“Why did you do it? If you didn't get much out of it, why did you keep sleeping with those guys? Like, it was completely up to you who you slept with, I'm not saying you shouldn't have, I'm just wondering why. I don't really understand why you would keep putting yourself out there like that if it was going to leave you unsatisfied every time, that's all.” 

That was a good question. Why _did_ she keep doing it if it never really fulfilled anything inside of her? She didn't think she’d ever asked herself that question. 

“Because it made me feel powerful, I guess. I liked knowing that guys wanted to sleep with me. I liked knowing that I could ask them anything and most of them would do it, just to get me into bed. I liked knowing that I didn't _need_ any of them, but I could still have them if I wanted. It sounds weird, but I thrived off of it. Off of being a completely independent person but not having to be on my own to do so. Does that make sense?” 

He nodded but didn’t respond and just stared at their hands. 

“Listen, if you’re still thinking about last night and you’re still worrying about it, please just know that I don’t care how many girls you have or haven’t slept with. Truly,” 

“Thanks, but that’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who until 9 hours ago was a 27 year old virgin,” 

“Why do you care so much about that now though? We finally had an amazing night together and you just don’t seem to remember that. Do you need reminding? Is that why you’re doing this?”

Oliver laughed softly and looked away, a blush creeping along his cheeks again. 

“You’re allowed to want a reminder, Oliver. You’re my boyfriend. It’s okay to want me like that,” 

“I just don’t want you to think of me like you think about all of those other guys... “ he admitted, shyly, still facing the other way. 

“I don’t think about those other guys! The only person I’ve ever thought twice about is you. Why can’t you see that?” 

He didn’t respond again and still refused to look at her and in that moment, Felicity had had enough. 

She got up then and before Oliver could even ask what she was doing, sat herself down on his upper thighs with just the thin bedsheets between them, completely unashamed that she was naked except for her black, lace underwear. 

“Look at me, Oliver,” she told him, softly but firmly. 

He did, eventually, after what felt like the longest 10 seconds of her entire life. She watched his gaze travel along her body, starting at her waist and then moving up to her chest, her shoulders, her mouth and then finally landing on her eyes. She could tell he was fighting with himself about something, his expression was far from relaxed. 

“Whatever is going on inside your head right now, it's okay. Okay?” She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You can let it go for now. Come back to it later if you want. But just let yourself feel right now. Don't think. Just feel. I'm right here.” 

He visibly exhaled at her words and closed his eyes for a long second before meeting her gaze again, a soft smile on his lips. She didn't say anything else, just waited for him, waited to see what he would do. She watched him look at her again, his eyes roaming her body with so much apprehension and tenderness and wondered how he could ever compare himself to any of the men that had ever looked at her before. She watched him slowly move his hands and place them on her thighs, stroking her skin so softly with his thumb, and she shivered lightly at the warmth that action brought upon her body, tiny goosebumps once again erupting on her skin. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his hands and could feel him watching her then. She wanted to open her eyes again and ask him to tell her everything he was thinking, but she also wanted to stay right there in the quiet with him forever. She felt him sit up, felt his hands trail from her thighs up her body, feather light touches leaving her almost breathless as they crossed over her stomach, her ribs, the sides of her breasts, her shoulders and then down her arms before taking both of her hands in his and squeezing them tightly. Again, she resisted the urge to open her eyes, knowing that having her gaze away from him was giving him confidence and squeezed back, letting him know that it was okay. Whatever it was, it was alright. 

She felt his warm breath on her neck a few seconds later, hesitant and cautious, and heard him inhale deeply before finally his lips pressed against the skin of her left collarbone. She’d never had a thing for being kissed there but all of a sudden it became her favourite place to have his mouth so far. Still clutching her hands, she felt his lips travel from that collarbone onto the other, sucking slightly on it and she couldn't help the quiet moan that left her lips at the sensation. She ached to run her fingers through his hair, to run her hands over the warm skin of his shoulders (she was kind of obsessed with his shoulders), to just touch him anywhere she could reach, but instead she stayed holding onto his hands, an ever-present reminder that she was there with him and wasn't going anywhere. 

She felt his mouth move up to her neck, kissing and sucking gently on her skin, pausing every now and then to just breathe her in and there wasn't a force of nature on earth that could stop her from smiling then. She tilted her head back, giving him more access to her neck and delighted when she felt him kiss her harder there, felt his teeth on her skin, felt a pleasurable flash of pain as he sucked and bit down, his breathing faster but him still absolutely in control of his actions. 

His mouth moved from her neck down to her shoulder, sucking and nibbling the skin there before moving down further, past the sensitive skin of her armpit to the even more sensitive skin of her right breast. He pressed a soft kiss above her nipple and paused, suddenly hesitant and cautious again just like he’d been before. She squeezed his hand again, her reminder that it was okay, and smiled as she felt him squeeze back. 

“Is this… is this alright?” He asked, his voice low and affected but still oh so doubtful and apprehensive. 

She nodded, quickly, her eyes still closed. “Of course. It is _so_ okay. I can't even begin to tell you how okay that is.” 

She could tell that he relaxed slightly at her words and he squeezed her hand again; the gesture was quickly becoming the only thing they needed to communicate. His hot breath on her nipple was the next thing she felt and it knocked all coherent thought from her brain. He didn't move for a while, seeming adamant on staying right where he was just to tease her, although she really wasn't sure that he had any idea of the effect he was having on her, let alone enough of an idea to even consider teasing her, and if she thought just his breath was enough to stop her from thinking, then her brain must have literally exited her head when his mouth wrapped around her nipple and sucked it. She moaned loudly, a sound she’d only ever used in the past to make men think she was enjoying herself, only this time it was real and it was the most sensual moment of her life so far. Being with Oliver like this was making her feel like the inexperienced one. No one had ever taken their time with her body like this and every single sensation he was drawing out of her felt brand new. She felt his tongue rolling around her nipple, his teeth occasionally joining in and nibbling it softly and it was too much and not enough at the same time and within seconds she was absolutely breathless, dangerously close to losing any control she had over her body and just grinding her hips into him. 

He must have felt how tense she was because he let go of her breast then, pressed a soft kiss right on her nipple and then loosened his grip on one of her hands, dropping it and used his now free fingertips to trace a soft pattern on her cheek. 

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice right by her ear. 

She smiled and opened her eyes to find him smiling back at her, their faces so close together she could feel the energy running off of her skin and onto his. She was above him, still on his lap, and it gave her the most perfect view of his face. His blue eyes were darker than she’d seen them before, even darker than they were last night when everything was so intense and so new. Meeting his gaze she saw so much of his earlier insecurity was gone, replaced by something else, something much more brave and sure, and the sight almost made her cry. 

In that moment she couldn't help herself. 

“I love you,” she whispered, pressing her forehead against his. “And I have wanted to tell you that for so fucking long.” 

She heard him inhale quickly at her confession and part of her worried that it was too soon. She’d never told anyone that she loved them, not like this anyway, and she really wasn't sure how long you were supposed to wait. But waiting hadn't been an option five seconds ago. Nothing could have made her wait. Nothing in the world could have stopped those three words from falling from her lips. 

“Damn it,” he whispered, kissing the end of her nose. “I wanted to be the first one to say it,” 

Felicity laughed, and her laugh had never sounded quite like that before, she noticed. 

“You can say it next time,” she smiled, carding her fingers through his hair. 

They stayed like that for a long time, moments passing all blurring into each other before Oliver broke the silence and said, 

“I should probably get ready for work,” 

Laughing, Felicity pressed her mouth against his, effectively shutting him up before he could talk about work again. She felt him melt against her, his muscles relaxing one by one until he was lax enough that she could just gently push him backwards so he was lying down again, and then she blanketed his body with hers, never breaking their kiss even for a fraction of a second. 

She felt him smile against her mouth and the feeling made her smile too and before they knew, the two of them were laughing together, and it was the most beautiful feeling Felicity had ever experienced. She leaned up on her forearms and just watched him for a few seconds, enjoying the carefree expression on his face. 

“Are you okay now?” She asked, stroking his cheek with one hand. 

“Yeah. Thank you,” 

“You don't ever have to thank me, Oliver. For anything,” 

“I know but… you just really helped then. I felt like maybe I was doing something right for the first time. Even last night I just - I didn't feel like I thought about you enough. And I know you said it doesn't matter but it matters to me. You matter to me,” 

She smiled. “We have plenty of time to practice, you know?” 

Oliver laughed at that and leaned up to kiss her quickly on the mouth. 

“I'm glad,” 

“And after what you just did to me with your mouth, we’re probably going to have to have the next practice pretty soon. Like maybe tonight after you finish work?” She grinned, winking at him. 

The club was closed on Mondays so tonight she would have him completely to herself for the entire night. 

“Maybe I could just call in sick to work and we could practice right now?” Oliver smiled, tracing his fingertips over her hip. 

“One night of sex and you're already thinking of calling in sick to work for the first time in your life. Be careful, Oliver, you'll give me a big ego,” Felicity teased, giggling. 

He blushed, but this time he didn't seem to be ashamed of it at all. He just simply shrugged and leaned up to kiss her again. 

That would be the first day of many that Oliver Queen was late for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please leave me a comment! I find it super difficult to continue writing without encouragement from others and so every single comment means the absolute world to me!
> 
> Feel free to leave any prompts or questions for me on Tumblr! My ask is right [HERE](http://wetsuiton.tumblr.com/ask) and I'm on there everyday :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please leave me a comment! I find it super difficult to continue writing without encouragement from others and so every single comment means the absolute world to me! 
> 
> Feel free to leave any prompts (this universe or in general) for me on Tumblr :) My ask is right [HERE](http://wetsuiton.tumblr.com/ask) and I'm on there everyday :)


End file.
